I needed quarters for a meter so I went to the MassArt bookstore to get them but they said no.
I had to buy something.
What is the cheapest thing I can buy?
Thumbtacks! They are only 10 cents!
The flat ones, that break your mails when you pull them out.
OK, I'll get them.
Better than a 30 dollar ticket.
When they rung them in - only 1 cent! 1 penny!
I never got anything for a penny before.
I gave them a $20.00 and $.01, and they gave me a box of 50 thumbtacks, a dollar in quarters, and 19 dollars in green papers.

Then I went to a meeting with my adviser during which I provided many brilliant ideas on how they should change the program I am in and make it better.
He said they'll get on it at once.

I still don't have a student teaching position lined up for next semester. very frustrating.

I did, however, write a brand new book about bunnies.
Tomorrow I'll scan it in and share.

My favorite professor brought three rubber band balls to class.
Who wants one?
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(It's a good thins I practice saying that a lot: I was SO ready!)
Now I have it my pocket and I love it. IT BOUNCES!

Hmmmmm...what else? Oh yes, don't even think about coming over to our house to poop, because our toilet in rebellion mode. How long will that last, I wonder? The plumber lost all hope too. ber plum.

Sunday night at Home Depot is couple's night. We too went there to purchase weapons for the great toilet flood of 09. It was very romantic.

Sunday morning at Home Depot is a singles event. I went there with a friend this summer, and experienced a whole new level of sexual harassment. Now only couples night. Who do they this I am??? jerks...

where have I been?
no one knows!

1.my apartment is filling up with books. not mine! hooray!
2.went apple picking!!!! saw goats! goats are nasty creatures, I can see why people call people they don't like kozyol. The male ones have no manners, harass the girls, stick our their nasty skinny little penises and chase them all around. The little girl I was with watched the goats for a while, and then said: "hmm. goats are a lot like humans".
3. talking about small children who speak the words of the wise, I am getting a new nephew soon. any day now. hurry up there...I am getting impatient.
4.I am a graduate school. I don't go to work everyday. I read books and write papers. Why didn't anyone tell me how unbelievable that is the first time I was a student?
5. I get to teach photography to 11 and 12th graders in Saturday Studios at MassArt. Am I excited? yes, I would say. DARKROOM!!! WHOA!!! I get to use it!!!!! oh, baby!!!!
6.signed up for vegetable delivery. bostonorganics.com. It's 30 bucks a week and I've heard rave reviews about it. we'll see. But I am very excited.
7. Noodler's Ink. I might have to become a convert. it even smells like something dangerous.http://www.noodlersink.com/
8. Taking a class (as if four graduate classes isn't enough) at the Federation for Children with Special Needs. http://fcsn.org/index.php For my own personal amusement.
9. The personal amusement comes from being not so amused by the interaction between a particular school in Cambridge and a family I work with. Cambridge schools suck big time. Newton schools suck too, but not nearly as much, and they are scared. Newton schools are going to implode soon, The whole system is disintegrating. Not the whole system, but definitely everythign and anything having to do with children with special needs. I am going to try to student teach in Brookline. I am sure they suck as much, but at least it will be a new and exciting sucking. Or I can sell out and spend four months at http://waringschool.org/ . Wouldn't that be something...
10. That's it for today. I am off to eat my freshly picked apples with my hunny.

So long!

У нас дома идёт борьба с мухами. Это немножко ужасно и немножко прекрасно. Мы никак не можем понять откуда они берутся, и причём в таких количествах. Сегодня мы случайно проснулись в восемь утра, вышли на кухню, и оказались в липкой и жужжащей стае злобных летучих насекомых. Алиса Ивановна, как и была в обнаженном виде залезла на стол и перепрыгивая со стола на полку а с полки на холодильник брызгала в гадов водой, и, обезлётив их, прихлопывала мух бумажным полотенцем, и они, с удовлетворительным хрустом, отходили на тот свет. Мой милый при этом бегал по полу, подавал мне свежие полотенца, принимал тела ушедших мух открывал а закрывал дверь, что бы мухи вылетели к корридор а потом на улицу и их не нужно было убивать, включал и выключал свет, и вообще командовал битвой как Наполеон, только без коня. Мухи довольно быстро научились избегать обстрела и новое поколение, не понятно откуда взявшеся к вечеру, расселось по стенам и потолку и оттуда злобно поглядывает на блинного носорога, но он хорошо защищён. Всё таки интересно бы узнать откуда они берутся и что им надо.

dear friends,
-
thouse of you who asked - and those who didn;t -
tomorrow will be your last chance to see my works in the Amazing Things Art Center

160 Hollis Street
Framingham

I'll be there 4-6.

there's this idea in the world of asking for too much.
like the fisherman's wife and the goldfish.
in faity tales things end badly for the greedy.
in real life they seem to do just fine.
there are people who spew at those around them that all they asked for
is so little, and the other party couldn't/wouldn;t even do that.
I've said that before.
I have said before that all I asked for was so little and I couldn;t even have that.
maybe I am completely wrong, but I actually do think that I ask for very little.
And not being able to get a single thing for which I have asked
is making me feel
like I don't really want anything anymore.
and it is very sad.

the miniature creepiod from the upstairs is back home on a few hour pass from the psych ward to which he has been committed last sunday after vicously attacking him sweet mum. I woke up to the sound of him voice outside and kind of cringed. I like the kid and all, but it was also nice to have some peace and quiet. That's not relly to say that I haven't been helping the sweet mum every free second I've had, attending meeting at the aforementioned hospital and taking care of the sweet yet boysterous girl all the time this week.

The psych ward is nice. You just hang out with other looney children, all of whom are too drugged to be violent, watch movies all day, and I have to say, even the food is good. I wonder if I can just go back instead of the boy. I could use a little distraction somewhere where time flows according to a different set of rules.

------------------------------
i hear tomorrow is some sort of an aerial display of flying fire. Hmmm. I suppose in some other life it could be nice. Don't think I'll make it to the big party. Oh well.

to keep my mind off of violent and permanently terrible things brought about by my highly functional life arrangement, as well as to keep sane in the great flood condenscending upon my attempts to look for a glimpse of sunlight, I decided to make myself feel better by working on my picture of the apocalypse. It's working great!!!!

without any shred of doubt, the past year of my life has been the most wasteful, painful and desperate year I ever had. And the year is only getting longer. Who knew.

well, the school year is over. I leave my school feeling ecstatic to be out of there, and away from the incredible bullshit, compromised morals, twisted values and sick allegences that I wholeheartedly tried to ignore but it got hard towards the end when people lost all decency.

but other than that it was a lovely year. I made a good friend and kept the old ones. I with they could leave with me. I keep telling then that leaving is the easy part, but they can'd do it.

Everything about the summer is getting pushed up - it will go by so fast we won't even realize it was here.

The weather DOES feel somewhat apocalyptic, I must say. Coldness and rainess in JUNE - adn I am wearing my post-halloween coat. That is so anti-climate-ick.

It's hard to focus and get things done. I got home from school and couldn't figure out what to do. Things are a bit of a mess. I like to do a little of each thing adn then move on to the next one. I started a new picture. A new map. Of the world. It might be done by the end of the summer. It's big. I'll never be able to afford to frame it. somebody rich will have to buy it unframed.

My dear beloved is gone again. I have angry monsters in my head grumbling and grouching.
I am trying to keep them under control, but they are very grouchy. He better come home soon, or they will break free and take over the whole world, and leave dirty footprints all over my new map. You know how those monsters are...little pukes.

Well, that's it. I am at Kinko's in HS because my work laptop got taken away and my personal laptop is traveling around the world with the gnomes. When I was going in a tow truck driver was starting to tow a car away. The couple that owned the car ran out and were begging the driver not to tow it. They were having some sort of an emergency and needed to leave the car for just a second. I think he made them pay some ridiculous fine. It was horrible. The first group of people who will get executed when I rule the world will be tow truck drivers. Then PTO presidents. Then the people who invented long distance relationships. Then various individuals in elementary education. At that point, I'll evaluate the world to see if it has become a better place.

Anyway, I am going to go home now.
so long.

today we had a last day of school!
I began with this class six years ago in Kindergarten, stayed with them for first grade too, took three years off, and came back in fifth. Today I watched them all leave their elementary school for the last time. It was very emotional. In all sorts of ways.

I got some very nice cards from kids and parents. One girl wrote that if there was an award for the "funniest, most artistic and awesome teacher" I would get it. I've been coveting a different award, but I am not sure I am ready to go into the industry where they distribute those. I'll stick to the non-existent teacher awards.

talking about the other industry though - I got a gift card that is called Vanilla Visa Gift Card. Does that mean that if I try to use it in a deviant store they'll reject it?

I also got a couple of art store gift cards. finally people have figured out what to get me.
so now I wonder - do I use them to get things that I need or things that I want. hmmm.

I am glad this school year is over, but I will miss the kids. They just started to get interesting. I have many thoughts about children, teachers, parents, schools, our system of education etc. Mostly it comes out to the idea that no one knows anything. My thoughts about school are much more in line with what I used to think when I was in high school than in the last ten years - schools are a tremendous waste of time. and yet there is something wonderful to be gained from them - and not just knowledge. life of some sort. What isn't a waste of time? And how do you judge?

I need to do laundry, clean up, do the dishes and find my dancing shoes. It looks like I am suddenly going to a friend's Tango class. And it is actually just wonderful. Except that I stuck my dancing shoes somewhere when I was cleaning up for my birthday party and now I can;t find them. ho hum.

i had a lovely birthday.
my beloved came to school with me and got to see me all teachery.
that was special.

the kids made me gifts and an amazing scavenger hunt all over the entire school. it was incridible.

Mariana's family got me a cake and candles and love after school.

I was so hyper that by the end of the day when all the guests showed up I was so exhausted my brian just turned to mush.

on sat my mom had a party of some sort at her house but I was still mushy brained.

yesterday I took my borrowed children to a pirate fair and then we went to see friends who also had a birthday. It was wonderful.

Tal drew me a hypercube for my birthday. It's a picture of how old I am.
That was probably the most exciting thing.

And on Wednesday school ends, and everything else begins.

I want to write a long angry post in which I say how much schools suck.
How no ones gives a shit.
How the whole system is built on not giving a shit and pretending to.
How everything is about denying resources to those kids who need it most and giving it to those who don;t know what to do with it.
How in one situation that I am involved in the fucking school is doing something criminal against the kid.
I guess it's not going to be very long. But my head is about to explode from all the things that are going on around me.
Some people give a shit. But no one wants to deal with them. Because they make everyone else look bad. And they waste valuable resources. instead of someone sitting on their ass and pretending to care, they actually have to go somewhere and do something. How annoying.
ok. i am done here.

This is completely brilliant:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/06/17/ny.mother.impersonation/index.html

according to buroba it's a special day.
but what do I know....

I am just happy to be here.

Today at school we had something called "Color Day" - which in some other educational establishments is called Field Day, and pretty much consists of various outdoorsy activities set up by the gym teacher once a year in June, for the children to participate in with their peers. The traditional colors in my school are red white and blue. The students are required to wear a t-shirt in the color of whatever team the kind teachers assigned them to.
A certain teacher who shall remain nameless thought it would be really funny to encourage subversive tendencies in the easily influencable youngsters in her care by organizing an underground orange team and wearing that color t-shirt underneath the "correct" one. Then at at a strategic moment when the rest of the school, and especially the gym teacher would least suspect any potential subversiveness, we would take off the outer shirt revealing the flaming color of freedom, and proceed to making a victory lap around the school grounds while loudly celebrating our great subversive success.

The morning found itself full of winks and secret whispers and the establishment of the fact that all of the students in the good graces of the yet unnamed teacher indeed wore the forbidden color beneath the prescribed one. It was very hard to find a good place to meet away from the vigilant gaze of the grown ups, so we agreed, as we were being led out onto the battlefield, that we will find a moment when the gym teacher is close by and charge him in our true colors, thus proving our glorious point, whatever that point would be. As the plan acquired more realism, the incredible excitement began to slowly fizzle out of it. We did however find that moment, and at least three of us formed the orange team, and sort of pranced over to the gym teacher, who, severely drugged due to a very bad case of somethingothetthanszineflue, barely noticed us through his feverish gaze, and in a weak voice told us to run along.

It was still kind of exciting. After the day was over and we proudly and openly wore our orange colors, there was a very subtle yet powerful camaraderie tying invisible strings between all of the participants. Between the children who are about to leave their elementary school and move on to a new and scary unknown, and their odd yet lovable teacher, living out the last of her childhood fantasies before her own summer of growing up.

Соседские дети с которыми я работаю очень сложные - но иногда бывают дни когда всё встаёт на свои места они забывают что нужно грубить и неслушаться, требовать и спорить. Они становятся добрые, ласковые, доверчивые и послушные. Один такой день случился зимой, когда они под усливием страшной тайны провели меня по всем секретным проходам, переулочкам и пролазам которые они открыли вокруг дома. Было ужасно интересно узнать какие хитрые строения у нас прямо за домом, немножко страшно когда нужно было перелезть особенно высокий забор, а потом прокрасться тохонечко под ним-же мимо ничего неподозреваемых взрослых, и очень смешно когда детки, которые меня уверили что без самокатов идти по секретному проходу никак нельзя, несмотря на снег, мастерски перекидывали через те-же заборы самокаты и всякие очень важные предметы найденные на помойках.

Кстати про помойки. Эти дети обожают помойки так-же как и я. По четвергам у нас мусорный день, и когда я с детьми по четвергам мы вместе обходим помойки. Вчера вечером мы дошли до реки а по дороге домой нашли классное кресло которое дети согласились подарить мне для моей квартиры даже до того как я им напомнила что скоро-скоро мой день рождения. Мне ужасно повезло что они попали в мою жизнь. И их чедесная мама тоже. Я просто не знаю что я без них бы делала.

Yesterday I finished reading The Collected Works of T.S. Spivet by Rief Larsen.

I am still working out the exact location of the book on my "all time favorites" list in my head - yesterday it was still floating in and out of the top 10, today it is settling in around 20 or so - but it IS a fantastic book. I just think all the bits and pieces didn't fit in as beautifully as they could have in the end.

I think this book, shockingly, might make a better movie.

Today was the fifth grade picnic. What fun! All the kids and their parents get together after school and eat yummy food, run around and be silly. I got to hang out with my favorite kids and parents, and even play a kick-ass game of frizbee the the death of the frizbee. By end there were actually small pieces of plastic flying off of it. It was awesome.

By the way - ON SUNDAY IS AN OPENING OF AN ART SHOW I AM IN!!!!
COME TO MY SHOW!

I am going to go to bed now.
I like suddenly not being crazy for once, even though you're still not here.

Yuri, the boy upstairs, kicked the principal of his school in the face yesterday and got suspended for two days. I invited him and his mom to come to the dress rehearsal at my school this morning, and they were going to, but decided to go hiking instead.

I can't even get juvenile delinquents to give me time of day...

:(